Turning Point

"I will give up anything - but my family"


At first glance on this line, it looks so heart-warming, it denotes a feeling of sincerity, responsibility, loyalty and commitment. It is what a woman would yearn to hear from her man. However, these are all relative - depending on who is saying the line to whom.

If you fall in love with a married man and in the middle of your relationship, he tells you " I will give up anything-but my family", would you pack up your things and say goodbye right away? Or would you play a deaf ear and numb heart and pretend as if nothing was said? Or will you take it as a "precaution", a "warning" to try even harder and give even more so he will not dump you like a hot potato?

"I don't think he deserves someone like me, so I'll call it quits, before I even fall into his trap", quipped Bernice, a middle-aged friend who works for a male-dominated organization. "This is a subtle way of saying "there is no reason for you to go on", and there is a bleak future for your relationship," she added. If I feel he is not really ready to stand by me until the end, she said, it will be easier for me to let go and find another someone, maybe even better than he is.

"Wait patiently until he finally gets absolute freedom, naturally", opined Pearl, a former colleague who is currently dating a very much married man, her age. In the first place, Pearl said, I knew that he was married, and he did not force me to fall in love with him. "It just so happened that I fell in love with the right guy at the wrong time, and knowing this, I have to condition myself to just wait until the right time comes," she said.

Modern society has seemingly "accepted" extra-marital relationships. Yet, common as it may seem, women who are entangled in this type of affair have varied views on its acceptability both by society and themselves. In most cases, however, women are at the losing end, probably because women love in more intense degrees than men, more so married men.

Women who have enough self-confidence are not bothered much, they can always get out of the relationship as easily as they went in.

The trouble is when a woman has given too much, too much that there is very little or even nothing left for herself. Hearing these words from his man would have a devastating effect, worst, self-destructive effect.

For women snarled with married men, how would you react? Will you be Bernice, or will you be Pearl? Whoever you may follow, the choice is yours, just make sure you take responsibility of that choice.