The Hardest Word ?

Forgiveness is one of the easiest word to say but the most difficult to do. This is among the few things that would best exemplify the axiom that "some words are easier said than done", yet when practiced, gives the most fulfilling result.

Why is it that so many people find it so difficult to forgive? What really is forgiveness?

The dictionary defines forgiveness as the act of giving up resentment or claim to requital on account of (an offense or wrong), to remit the penalty of and to pardon. It may be considered simply in terms of the person who forgives or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven.

In some contexts, forgiveness may be granted without any expectation of compensation and without any response on the part of the offender, for example, one may forgive a person even if he is already dead.

But it is really so difficult to forgive because as human beings, we are sometimes hard-wired to retaliate when we are hurt by other people. Our pride and self-esteem are wounded. Our expectations or dreams are disappointed and we lose something very valuable to us. More often, we always want to seek recompense for what is done to us.

Human beliefs impede us from freely forgiving. Our thoughts dictate that we must not forgive because the offender never accepts responsibility of what he did, or we do not feel like forgiving.

I used to find the act of forgiving as an act done by weak people. I refuse to forgive despite efforts of the offender to apologize, even to the extent of crying on their knees, especially when it is my person that was hurt.

I noticed, however, that every time I refuse to forgive, my load becomes heavier. Many of the people who have wronged me have died without obtaining my forgiveness, and I realized this might hinder them from getting to their final destinations. I eventually gave my elusive pardon.

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning of their action. What you are after is to find peace. Once the baggage is unloaded, peace follows. It is so nice to sleep without having to worry about guilt feelings.

When we get to the point that we really need to forgive but we simply cannot, it is best to ask for God's strength - because forgiving requires immeasurable strength.

“Lord God, we ask for your mercy. May you teach us how to have a forgiving heart. May we be able to forgive easily those who did us wrong . Give us the humility to accept our faults and ask for forgiveness, in Jesus , Amen.”

PS: To My dear friend (you know who you are) please learn to forgive....and forget!