Holiday depression-anyone?

(Behind the smile is a heart filled with sorrow and emptiness)

Christmas carols fill the airwaves...shopping centers overflow with people, young and old...all streets are bottlenecks of vehicles...laughter and joy cover the atmosphere but you start spiraling downward into grief!

WATCH OUT - YOU MIGHT BE SUFFERING FROM HOLIDAY DEPRESSION!

Sounds ironic but it's true!

I am by nature a very happy person, but while office mates and some visitors were at the midst of revelry last weekend, I suddenly felt a strange feeling - I was physically around but my heart wasn't there. I could not feel a single tinge of merriment. I have sung a dozen songs and drank two bottles of beer, but still I felt so empty. Suddenly, I found myself rushing to my office and staring blankly at Bread's picture on my computer screen.

When I got home, I still could not get over the strange feeling. Then someone told me, "hey, you might be suffering from holiday depression!" "Is there really such a thing as holiday depression?", I could not believe it at first so I had to make my own research. And bingo, I found what I was looking for.

During this season of merriment, some of us feel a certain kind of unexplained sadness, a feeling that may affect our dispositions. The causes of this emotional state vary from one person to another. Psychologists say that typical causes of holiday sadness include stress, fatigue, unrealistic expectations, financial stress and inability to be with one's family and friends.

Perhaps I was in that state, and maybe am still until today. This may be a manifestation of loneliness because of the thought that for the first time, I will be celebrating Christmas with one of my children absent. I am used to spending the holidays for the past 21 years without a husband but not without my children. This feeling of loneliness may have been aggravated by a failed desire to be with someone close to my heart, that because of distance and some inevitable barriers, could not materialize.

These and the stress brought by the physical demands of preparations for Christmas, may have caused my depression.

They say, this emotional instability is temporary, and may be gone after the holidays. What is important is the realization that you are suffering from it and the way you handle things to abate further damage.

Experts advise that it is time to find out what your own hidden fantasies are about this "magical" period! Sort out what you cannot have from what you can have.

Allow yourself to connect with activities and people that make you feel alive and in touch with your feelings, including sadness.

Embracing the "down" feelings will allow old grief to "thaw", making room for new, meaningful traditions to establish themselves in the years ahead!

I may be suffering from holiday depression now but this would not stop me from bringing the message of Peace and Goodwill to everyone - including people I love and people who refuse to love me! To all of you - Happy holidays!