FACE THE MIRROR

While cleaning up my piles and books, I came across this "controversial" book by Julie Yap Daza, The Etiquette of a Mistress, which I bought years back not out of "need" but our of curiosity. I never really had the chance to read the book from cover to cover, so I quickly scanned over the pages my attention was caught by the third rule: "Mistresses should be ready to give up Valentine's Day, Christmas Day, New Year's Day, Holy Week and his birthday".
And since the holiday season is just around the corner, perhaps the mistresses should read these rules, so I thought. For them who do not have a copy of the book, I would like to share them these rules, in case of "emergency" , one or two may come in handy.
Here are the 28 rules for the Mistresses:
1. Mistress is not Mrs. Know your place.
2. Even if he tells you he loves you more than his wife, don’t let that go to your head.
3. Mistresses should be ready to give up Valentine’s Day, Christmas Day, New Years Day, Holy Week and his birthday.
4. Befriend his secretary but avoid all contact with his driver.
5. As tempting as it seems, don’t patronize the wife’s beauty parlor, jewelry shop, dress shop or father confessor.
6. Don’t call him, wait for him to call.
7. To be seen with him in public once is risky. The second time could be fatal to one of you. The third time is the end for both of you.
8. Never believe, and never say anything unfriendly about his wife, not even if he recites a litany of her faults.
9. Mistresses are kept by rich men. But a mistress who is a woman of substance and independent means is better. (translation: Don’t ask him for money)
10. Be discreet. (Make sure he is not the type who talks in his sleep)
11. Never travel together.
12. When he breaks a date, charge it to fate, not his fecklessness.
13. Wives have their own networks of spies and amigas. It is helpful for the mistress to have your own. A chaperone is not a good idea, however. (Chaperones are passé. Besides they talk.)
14. Mistresses don’t complain.
15. Being no. 2, the mistress tries harder.
16. Send him home as soon as it becomes apparent that he’s overstaying.
17. It is practical for a mistress to be linked to another man, preferably her lover’s friend.
18. If he’s a public man and you’re thinking of staging an accident of running into him, think: How many accidents can I pull off in one month?
19. Don’t make unnecessary enemies of his children.
20. Remind him to pay for everything in cash – dinner, flowers, perfume, champagne, pearls, diamonds, a microwave oven, etc.
21. Don’t use tears as a weapon’ He’s probably had enough of that from the Mrs.
22. Resist the urge to be found out.
23. Perish all thought that someday you will be No. 1.
24. Married men who keep mistresses don’t like surprises, as a rule.
25. A man with a mistress leads a double life, his mistress only a half life. Cheer up! A career will make you whole.
26. Resist the urge to shower him with gifts. Evidence, evidence…!
27. When in doubt, disappear.
28. When all else fails, leave him.

It is sardonic that though we are a predominantly Catholic country, our society justifies men's womanizing yet condemns the "other women". The blame is more often than not thrown on the women, as if they are the only culprits to extra marital relations. They are reputed as bad, indecent, immoral, flirt, suckers, and worst, home wreckers. Personally, I feel this practice of branding mistresses is not only unfair, it's a curtailment of their rights as humans. What ever their reasons for their choices may be, they deserve respect, and for those women who are among the "other", these so called rules should be read and imbibed. To the "original" women, before you harshly judge your husband's women, face the mirror!