etch on your epitaph

The news of the untimely demise of pop icon Michael Jackson jolted the world and triggered a cyberspace traffic jam. In many parts of the globe, vigils were held by his loyal followers and even those who suddenly became his fans.

The impact he made on the music industry and the lives of many people cannot be under estimated - he broke racial barriers, paved the way for modern pop music, and made great humanitarian contributions. The unstoppable juggernaut made unparralleled influence in the lives of the old and young generations worldwide.

Although I like a few of his songs, I am not really an "MJ fanatic", but his death made me pause and ponder about the ultimate meaning of life. What is the real meaning of our existence? Definitely, no one, not even the so called "evils trapped in a human body" were brought to this world for nothing - there is always a purpose for everyone and everything.

For his part, MJ declared his life's purpose: "Music has been my outlet, my gift to all of the lovers in this world. Through it, my music, I know I will live forever." What is mine? I never really had the chance to seriously ponder what is my life purpose, perhaps for the simple reason that I really didn't care much about it.

Maybe as a person comes to age, the idea of life's purpose crosses his mind once in a while. I don't want to think that this is part of mid-life crisis, but, if it is, then I think it is really worth everyone in this age some time.

Whether we consider mulling over our life's purpose or not, one thing is certain - we don't live in this earth forever. Fame and fortune could not stop the grim Ripper from taking away our lives.

What really matters in the end is not our wealth, our fame, positions, titles and social status but our relationship with our Creator and our fellowmen!

When we leave this world, what would be etched in our epitaphs?

This reminds me of the words of Fr. Alfred Delp, renowned Jesuit Priest, who was executed for his resistance to the Nazi regime in Germany who said:
"When through one man, a little more love and goodness, a little more light and truth comes into the world, then that man's life has had meaning"

a daughter's angst

Dear Dad,
where ever you are, i know you are happy and i know that despite the fact that we now live in two different worlds, you are always beside me in times of joy and pain. it has been thirty years since i felt your last physical embrace but the feeling and memory remained and will stay in my heart for the rest of my life. i just feel so sad that i can no longer hear your crispy laughters, your manly voice...but Dad, i know you can hear me.
i am again in a stage in my life where i'm feeling alone...there is no one beside me whom i can share my griefs and aches with...i am depressed, yet the thought that your spirit is with me, makes things a little better.
i have friends around, i have my kids with me, but the feeling of incompleteness lingers. behind the smiles at the end of the day, there still remains an empty space...I am still waiting for that someone whome i can share my grief and joy with, whom i can share the rest of my life with. Dad, do you think he will come? if he does, will i still have to wait for a long time? or if he doesn't, will i still find completeness?
there are so many questions in my mind and in my heart....it is just really frustrating, no one is here beside me...if only you were here, Dad, maybe things would be different. i am sorry, i am suppose to be giving you cheers today, but i just can't help...i can't really hide my feelings, and you know that - that's why i am "special" to you, right? i have always been honest with how i feel, you can tell when i am angry, when i am happy, when i am in love, and when i am depressed - because i show how i feel. i am not a hypocrite, and you really loved me for that! thanks for teaching me that value, Dad, I embibed that until now. well, i was able to create a number of enemies because of my being "honest" but of course, there were more friends i gained because of being one. and you were right all the way - just be true to yourself...and the world will love you!

anyway...on this special day, i want to tell you again, as i always did, i am too grateful for having you as a father. no one in this world can really take your place....happy fathers' day ....i love you, dad!

your dear little girl,

The Promise....

It has been two years since I was assigned in this office, and almost everyday, I use this "girls' restroom". It is clean and a number of beautiful posters adorn the tiled walls. Yet, I do not really read the quotes on the posters, until two days ago, my curiosity was aroused so I read what was written on one. And I was suddenly moved to ponder. I thought, maybe the reason why my marriage and even the subsequent relationships I had failed. Then I told my self, I will imbibe these so that the next time I go into a relationship, I will put them into practice, as religiously as I could.

I would like to share these Gifts to my readers, especially those whose relationships are in the verge of collapse. These may help in bringing back the flame that enlightened their first few years together as husbands and wives.

50 Gifts for Marriage

1. Start each day with a kiss
2. Wear your wedding ring at all times
3. Date once a week
4. Accept differences
5. Be polite
6. Be gentle
7. Give gifts
8. Smile often
9. Touch
10. Talk about dreams
11. Choose a song that can be 'your song'
12. Give back rubs
13. Laugh together
14. Send a card for no reason
15. Do what your spouse wants before being asked
16. Listen
17. Encourage
18. Do it the other's way
19. Compliment your partner twice a day
20. Call just to say 'l love you'
21. Slow down
22. Hold hands
23. Cuddle
24. Ask your spouse's opinion
25. Show respect
26. Welcome each other home
27. Look your best for your mate
28. Wink at each other
29. Celebrate birthdays in a big way
30. Apologize
31. Forgive
32. Set up a romantic getaway
33. Ask, 'what can i do to make you happier?'
34. Know your mate's needs
35. Fix his (her) favorite breakfast
36. Be positive
37. Be kind
38. Be vulnerable
39. Respond quickly to your mate's requests
40. Talk about your love
41. Reminisce about your favorite times together
42. Treat his (her) relatives with courtesy
43. Send flowers every Valentines Day and anniversary
44. Admit when you're wrong
45. Be sensitive to your mate's sexual desires
46. Pray for him (her) daily
47. Watch sunsets together
48. Say "I love you" frequently
49. End each day with a hug
50. Seek outside help when you need it

Not by Might...Not by Power....

"Just let me in there...I am a VIP!!"
"I was invited here as a guest...why don't you let me enter?"

These two guys were shouting on top of their voices, insisting to the security officers to let them inside the coliseum. Their voices were really too loud, it caught the attention of everyone around, and so my attention was called by the security officer. "We need you here, ma'am because these two people would want to get inside but we can't find their names in your guest list", was the humble plea of the terrified officer. So I calmly asked these two guys what the problem was.

They both introduced themselves as Pastors of a religious group. I explained to them that for security reasons, I could not let them pass through that entrance, they have to take the audience entrance instead. At first, both resisted, but being the executive director of the event, they were obliged to follow my instructions. After several minutes of argument and explanations, thank God, they both left and took the entrance for them.

I have been handling events, concerts, seminars in the past, and I am aware that glitches are but normal. However, this experience I had with our latest concert was one I will never forget. It was not really the glitch itself that makes it different from the other events, it was the people involved and the lesson I learned from it.

I could not believe it myself, seeing legitimate Pastors of a church acting rudely in such a situation. I felt like I was so embarrassed, not because I was at the helm of the event and that it was a reflection of my "inefficiency" but I was embarrassed even disgusted to see supposed "leaders of God" act in such a barbaric manner.

I wondered, where these so called pastors took the "authority" they are claiming to have. In one of the seminars I attended, I learned that God did not give man the authority to be dominated yet neither did He give man the authority to dominate other men.

I am myself rude at times, but never did it cross my mind that I have the right to dominate anybody else, not even my subordinates. Dominating is tantamount to depriving them of their rights as human beings.

That very moment, I was really pissed off and wanted so much to flare up. The stress brought by staying awake for more than 24 hours (actually, I was awake for a total of 32 hours during the event), the physical demand of having to liaise with the other departments aggravated by unethical behaviors of these people, indeed were too heavy for me to handle.

My patience was already too thin yet the words " Not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit", flashed across my mind. Then in a snap of a finger, I regained my "spirit". I knew that at that very moment, it was no longer "me" who was facing the destructions, the "enemies" - it was my Creator who was working for me, because I know that I cannot do these on my own.

After the event, I can truly assert that "I CAN LAUGH AT THE ENEMY WITH HIM, HIDDEN WITHIN THE SHELTER OF HIS WINGS!"

FACES OF SOLITUDE

So many people fear or even hate solitude because they do not realize how important it is in one's life. They often equate solitude with loneliness but they are opposites. Loneliness is harsh and devastating while solitude is fortifying.

Solitude is an essential time to explore and know ourselves, reflect on our life and communicate with our Creator. Solitude is the necessary counterpart to intimacy, what allows us to have a self worthy of sharing.

I am alone but I am not lonely because I enjoy the silence and whatever it brings that is satisfying and from which I draw sustenance.

In today's busy and stressful world, everyone must value the importance of being alone, at peace and in a constructive state of engagement with oneself.

A famous counselor gave two ways of how we can practice solitude. First is to remember that when one goes into solitude, his basic goal is to DO NOTHING! It is just a moment of silence and focus on yourself, the people around you, the circumstances that surround you and your Creator.
Second is to form the habit of allocating at least an hour a night, after watching your favorite evening news or show, after doing all your household chores, after closing your messenger and putting a period to all your e-mails, to go to a quiet place in your house or take a short walk. Spare this short yet meaningful time for yourself and think inwards.

These are effortless steps but will do you enormous wonders. It opens our hearts to hear from our real, authentic selves and our Creator.

On my own, I definitely have learned to value solitude now because only in solitude can I be with the person closest to my heart for only in solitude can he be MINE!